Ocean Of Apathy;

Certain occurrences have made me realize if I want a girlfriend, I'm either going to have to lower my standards, or become less picky. Which I don't want to do, because then I'd be settling for second best, which I've settled for time after time.
Laying in bed with the rain dropping away at my roof, I realized, how am I going to find a girl who can possibly put up with me?
My violent intoxicated ways, my rampaging accent, my "rep" that gets any girl dating me automatically disliked, my temper, my "problems", my constant neediness for attention and affection, my lifestyle, my over protectiveness, my morals, my "rules."
I mean I could go into detail, but that's boring. If I want what I want, then I'd have to change things about me, which is damn near impossible. All in all, I am amazing boyfriend, and I know it, it's finding a girl to appreciate that. And not just assume that I'm some sort of Superman. I'm only human.
Back in the day, I had a "Perfect Girl" list on my MySpace, with over 400+ things that I want in a girl, and really, isn't much, well, to me that is. No girl even crossed off like 40+ of those things, and that's why most of my relationships crumble and fail. I settle for less then I deserve.
I don't regret any of my relationships, they're all stepping stones and I've learnt alot from all of them.

My friends always say I am too picky, I never believed I was until I was checking out this girl in Maccas the other day, she was a good sort, then I looked at her ears, and one was clearly bigger then the other, immediately, she became extremely unappealing to me. Wow, picky.

One day I'll find a girl who'll complete all of the things I'd like in a partner, and knowing my luck when I find that girl, they'll more then likely not be interested in me.

Oh well, one day.

Nightmares;

57kilos, down to 43 in 3 short weeks, im weak and unstable, I feel more lonely then usual.
This isn't what it was meant to be like, this isn't how I hoped itd be.
I may have to get an operation and no one to hold my hand.
I've brought this all on myself.
This is a wake up call, I guess.
But I don't think im going to answer it.

Hmm.

You Call Me Son, I Call You Dead;

I'll more then likely be a better friend to your "friends" then you'll ever be.
You are too selfish and stubborn to maintain a friendship with anyone.
Mindless human life.

I rather enjoy my cycle of life right now.
With everything that's happened its made my dad and I alot closer.
I'm so keen for PWD/ABR, he will be comming and afterwards comming out pubbin' and clubbin' with me, it'll be legend-wait for it-.............. Dary.

And yes I'm wearing a suit out.
Gunna be sweet.

:)

Servants Of Divinity;

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You Can't Touch This;

You simply just cannot.
And I mean that in every sense of the sentence.

The Beautiful Mistake;

I think it's really hypocritical of you.
You want to be friends, you want it all clean, you overreact over a joke, and find it necessary to badmouth me at any god given moment.
When you've already got a new guy, and its so damn soon. Who happens to be a good friend of mine, turn him against me, just like you've tried to do to everyone else. For someone who wanted this be all clean, you're going the wrong way about it.
I dont want to see you just as much as you don't want to see me, I wish people would stop talking to me about you, I wish your name was never brought up in any form of vocal conversation.
You can bad mouth me as much as you want, I'm not bad mouthing you. Call me a sleaze, call me a joke, call me ugly, whatever.
Even through all of this and the immature antics, I still care about you as a human being. Even though I shouldn't, I'm just too nice of a person hey.
You always said I'd look good dressed all classy, and you'd like to walk around with me dressed as such.

Well, jokes on you, honey. :)