The Beginning Of The End;

jeorgalouise, says:
i have an idea!!
write a story about me
and blog it :)
then I'll read it
BUT
it has to involve
a penguin
a cow that produces buttermilk
michael crafter
the creater of the goosebumps books
and a magical lampshade
GO GO GO GO
---------------------------------------

So, once there was a girl named Jeorga Louise Harris.
She lived in a cute small house in Swansea, and had a really messy bedroom.
She didn't have much luck with boys, and decided she'd rather jerk it to Michael Crafter, because Crafter is an incredibly sexy man. And let's face it, she's always wanted him. But we all know you can't get Crafter.
So she decides then, midway through kissing a picture of Michael, that she's going to go on a mission to get him!
She decides to take her good friend Jake along for the ride, it's weird how they've never dated, because Jake is really, really good looking. I mean, I'm not lying, he's a good sort.
They think, "Where do we start?!" Jake says "MySpace! Find out when Confession are playing next!" so they did just that, and fancy that, they were playing in Newcastle that weekend!
Jeorga almost passed out of excitement, and Jake moved the awkwardly placed magical lampshade away for her reach, because this lampshade could do crazy things, well, okay, truth be told it makes people become totally irresistable.
An epic wrestling back consumes, and Jeorga wins with a cheap shot to the jaw, and held the magical lampshade in her hands, and she passed out, Jake did what any good man would do in this situation, and slapped her 43 times and she finally awoke, and instantly, she said "Did it work?" and it had. Jake immediatly wanted to jump her bones, but that's not saying much, because he'd jump anyone.
So they walk through the mean streets of Newcastle and sure enough, the boys flocked to her like always, but some were more grabby then most. But we decided that it had worked, and they were ready for Crafter only a day away.
They had a cute nap and awoke the next day to a penguin in their bed, dry humping Jeorga's leg, Jake instinctively kicked it in the face and it went flying, but Jeorga wanted to keep it. So they had a another friend for the journey, Jake went outside and saw a cow walking across the road, producing buttermilk, he knew Jeorga liked buttermilk, so he ran across and got a glass full for her, she chucks it at the wall and exclaims "I DO NOT LIKE BUTTERMILK, JAKE"
Before starting a "I do not like green eggs and ham" arguement, he apologised and gave her a hug, and told her to get pretty, today was the big day of meeting Crafter!
She got pretty, Jake was naturally pretty, so they set off to Newcastle, and attended this gig.
It was shit, because Confession played, but then it all happened almost too quickly, Jeorga met Crafter, and expressed her undying love for him, and waited for him to flock to her like everyone else was almost at that moment, and it was in that very same moment, he opened his mouth and said "AW YEH BU' IM GAY, SOREH LUV"

The End!
- R.L. Stine